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    • Now available: The Lovecraft eZine 2014 Megapack! August 10, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, So for the brief week off. But I had a case of life. I was on a bit of a mission and it went quite swimmingly. But fear not wicked ones. I am still here to bring you the strange and spooky! Today we have some news from a wonderful ezine […]
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    • A Conversation With Craig Yoe August 1, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, Today I was fortunate enough to sit and have a chat with the wonderfully fascinating creative genius, Craig Yoe. Craig and I met at HeroesCon this summer when he accepted an award at The Inkwells on Steve Ditko‘s behalf (sort of). I was beyond thrilled when this incredible talent agreed to […]
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    • Flesh of my Flesh —- The Review! July 29, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, It is day seven of Flesh of my Flesh week! FomF was a zombie movie filmed here in Portland, OR. Please check out Tuesday’s interview to hear about it’s inception and long awaited release from the Writer/Director – Edward Martin III – of the film, Wednesday’s article written by yours truly, and Thursday’s interview with Sean Strauss […]
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    • Flesh of my Flesh: Interview (/Happy-Hour) With Actress Tara Walker July 28, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, It is day six of Flesh of my Flesh week! FomF was a zombie movie filmed here in Portland, OR. Please check out Tuesday’s interview to hear about it’s inception and long awaited release from the Writer/Director –Edward Martin III – of the film, Wednesday’s article written by yours truly, and Thursday’s interview with Sean Strauss – […]
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    • Flesh of my Flesh: An Interview With Director of Photography Ryan K. Johnson July 27, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, It is day five of Flesh of my Flesh week! FomF was a zombie movie filmed here in Portland, OR. Please check out Tuesday’s interview to hear about it’s inception and long awaited release from the Writer/Director – Edward Martin II – of the film, Wednesday’s article written by yours truly, and Thursday’s interview with Sean […]
      Sarah L. Gerhardt
    • Flesh of my Flesh – Zombies Need Love Too July 25, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, It is day four of Flesh of my Flesh week! FomF was a zombie movie filmed here in Portland, OR. Please check out Tuesday’s interview to hear about it’s inception and long awaited release from the Writer/Director – Edward Martin III – of the film, Wednesday’s article written by yours truly, and yesterday’s interview […]
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    • Flesh of my Flesh – An Interview With Documentarian and Location Manager Sean Strauss July 24, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, It is day three of Flesh of my Flesh week! FomF was a zombie movie filmed here in Portland, OR. Please check out Tuesday’s interview to hear about it’s inception and long awaited release from the Writer/Director of the film and yesterday’s article written by yours truly!  Today we will be talking with […]
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    • Flesh of my Flesh – Through The Eyes of the 2nd Assistant Director – Madness, Mayhem, and Love July 23, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, Welcome to day two of Flesh of my Flesh week! FomF was a zombie movie filmed here in Portland, OR. Please check out yesterday’s interview to hear about it’s inception and long awaited release from the Writer/Director of the film.  Today you get to hear me ramble on about my time on the set. […]
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    • Flesh of my Flesh – An Interview With Writer/Director Edward Martin III July 21, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, Those of you who know me personally and professionally have probably at one time or another been regaled with the stories of my time on the Flesh of my Flesh movie set. For those who are not aware, I was 2nd Assistant Director (amongst other things) of a feature film shot […]
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    • So Long For Now and Hello Again! July 11, 2015
      Hello Ghouls and Boils, Today is both a sad and joyful day for us at She Never Slept. Our Assistant Editor Sean Lee Levin has stated he would like to step down for personal reasons… we hate to see him go, but we wish him the best of luck in all of his endeavors and […]
      Sarah L. Gerhardt

Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes

PAG5015

Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes, or a Devious Collection of Nefarious Rhymes for Budding Cultists by which the Reader Will Help Open the Gates and Usher Forth a New Era of Darkness
Transcribed by: Jarred W. Wallace
Illustrated by: Heather Hudson
Published by: Armitage House
Page Count: 42
ISBN-10: 1887797262
ISBN-13: 978-1887797269
Where to Buy:
Amazon
Dagon Industries
Arkham Bazaar

Publisher’s comments:

Teaching the Old Ones to the Young-Uns
What dark childhood secret could cause a grown man or woman to want to summon a god, stare into the face of unspeakable horror or consort with the dead?
You may hold the answer in your hands.
Resurrected from the vaults of the Sefton Asylum, this charming, forbidden and fully-illustrated tome contains twenty-one sinister, mythos-inspired nursery rhymes and a complete alphabet to horrify and amuse the little monster in everyone.

“I may not know reality, but I know what I like, and what I like is this book.” – Randolph Carter, Noted Sleep Advocate

“If I’d used this book first, this world would have been cleared of all earth beings by now.” – Wilber Whateley, Backwoods Philanthropist

“This book has reanimated my interest in the forbidden arts.” – Dr. Herbert West, Dubious Scientist

“This blasphemous volume was not meant for the likes of man and should be securely locked away.” – Dr. Henry Armitage, Retired Bibliophile

About the Author:
Jarred Wallace lives in a perpetual state of immanent flight, a carefully assembled escape and evasion kit always packed and ready by the front door. Do not wake him unless you know where his gun is first. Every October he can be found at the H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon. Persons in need of his assistance in matters both undead and unearthly should contact him there.
About the Artist:
Heather Hudson paints art for fantasy games. Over the years she has painted illustrations for collectible card games, RPGs and magazines, and her work appears regularly in Wizards of the Coast’s Magic; the Gathering. On a more personal note, she was born in a barn and raised by coyotes, but still has enough of the thin veneer called civilization to thank Jarred, for the opportunity to illustrate this book, and the graphic designer for putting it together and making it look so good. Visit her online portfolio at www.studiowondercabinet.com.

Hello Ghouls and Boils,

Tonight, for your consideration we bring you Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes. This Cthulhu Mythos inspired nursery rhyme book has provided many a good laugh at the Lovecraft Film Festival. (A great stocking stuffer for the cultist in your life!) Since I am still under typing restrictions, I will let Joe tell you all about it. Enjoy my fiends!

Abstrusely,
Sarah L. Gerhardt

This slim tome purports to be a reproduction of a volume passed on to Dr. Theophilus Algernon Tanner by his patient, Gregory Hyatt, a well-known antiquarian and bibliophile. While on his death bed Hyatt begged Dr. Tanner to remove the book from his sight and destroy it for the sake of all mankind. Being of an inquisitive nature Tanner ignored the pleas of his dying patient, choosing to hold on to the book for further study. To his horror he found the verse collected within its pages was reminiscent of classic nursery rhymes, but with an abominable twist. These verses schooled their young audience in the ways of ritual sacrifice to Elder Gods, of horrible eldritch beings from other dimensions, and of madness brought about by things not meant to be comprehended by the puny mental capacity of humankind.

Long time attendees of the H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival know author Jarred Wallace as the proprietor of Dagon Industries, and the tone of this tome fits in with the aesthetic behind that line of merchandise: cheeky, irreverent and a slightly humorous take on the Cthulhu Mythos. A hypothetical reader’s reaction to Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes depends largely on where their allegiances fall upon the humor/cosmic horror scale. Unfortunately I prefer my Old Ones to remain beings that instill terror, awe and a sense of one’s own cosmic insignificance, not deities which inspire hearty chuckles and a desire to cuddle one’s cute Cthulhu plush.

Nevertheless some of the Mythos Rhymes did hit their demented mark. “DAGON” inspired nostalgic visions of Wallace enthusiastically leading that chant at this year’s HPL Film Festival. “The Dreamer Traveling to Kadath” and “Henry Armitage” succinctly and vividly summarize Lovecraftian-type stories within a four-line rhyme scheme. “Baa Baa Black Goat” is a clever recasting of “Baa Baa Black Sheep” with the Shub-Niggurath as its subject. “This Little Cultist” has the distinction of being the only nursery rhyme in the book to actually send a chill of delight down my spine with its loathsome last line. Other rhymes such as “If You’re a Cultist and You Know it” attempt to cram too many words into the metrical scheme, creating an off kilter rhythm running long by a syllable or two. Maybe it was a conscious effect, a metaphorical prose representation of Non-Euclidean geometrical spaces. Still, the overall effect could have had more impact if it tightly fit the scansion of the original nursery rhyme it parodied.

For my money, My First Mythos Alphabet is the better half of the book. Modeled after early reader alphabet primers, this section summarizes a Mythos concept using each letter of the alphabet (“M is for Mi-Go the fungi from space”). This half of the book delightfully showcases illustrator Heather Hudson’s devilishly macabre artwork.

Final Thoughts: While probably too precious and cute for the serious Cthulhulian cultist, Mother Hydra’s Mythos Rhymes contains a few clever rhymes, an amusing eldritch alphabet primer, and ghoulishly morbid artwork by Heather Hudson. It is probably best reserved for light entertainment after a minor sacrifice, or unwitting group summonings in a large gathering such as the H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival. I give the book 2 ½ out of 5.

Joe Pettit Jr. – Minion (Reviewer)

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